Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
