We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
 go to hell.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
