hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
