No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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