And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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