I think im going to throw up on grandma
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
