bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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