a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize