I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
