Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
