Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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