you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
it's like iHOP with fire
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The struggles of a small town man whore
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
