So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
