Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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