just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Randomize
