this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
