Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
