The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
