does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
