ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
