Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
