His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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