hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
