So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
