I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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