He had one of those small greek statue penises
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
