GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
