she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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