like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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