he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
