I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
