she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
