You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
