and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
