i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
