well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
