And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
