Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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