At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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