Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
