Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Quick, to the slutcave!
She even gives head with a lisp.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
