why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
