he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
