The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
