so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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