There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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