I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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