hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
