is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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