The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
time to smoke my breakfast
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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