textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
