I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize