And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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