I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
