Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
His hands were made for my vagina.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
