I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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