Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize