But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
