tell your sister to shave her snatch
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
