Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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