Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
