I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
