i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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