This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
